Inviting Conversation for December 15
The purpose of Inviting Conversations all along has been to elicit dialog between thoughtful people. Over the past several weeks I have received dozens of replies to my questions. I have been told repeatedly that the subject matter is “timely,” and have even been offered kudos for opening discussions which are “edgy.” A few times I have been told that the discussions are “inappropriate” in a professional setting. Only one comment left on a discussion could not be posted because it contained inappropriate language.
The past two weeks I have been listening to a lot of conversations about the stress of the holiday season. Growing up I remember the “stresses.” There was a lot of baking to do. The house needed to be cleaned thoroughly. Certain family members we find “annoying,” and tolerance levels needed to be reinforced. Did the cards get out? Who was bringing what? What time was dinner? Holiday decorations needed to be up…the list went on and on.
These aren’t the conversations I am having today. A large majority of the people are talking about the stresses related to the “other parent” of the children. Who gets to have the kids on what day? “My family gets less time with your family…” Competition between Moms and Dads about which family will spend the most on the children. I fully expect broken situations where the adults can’t act like adults to intensify during the holiday season. What I have difficulty understanding is when adults who most frequently act like they are over 25 years old retreat into 12-year-old childish behavior when these “holidays” occur. The word “holiday” comes from the Old English, haligdæg, from halig "holy" + dæg "day;" in 14c. meaning both "religious festival" and "day of recreation," but pronunciation and sense diverged 16c. It seems that for many people in today's world, both parts of these meanings have been lost.
I am not going to talk about what has happened to the American family, nor am I going to talk about the religious aspect of the season. What I am going to ask is, in today’s Society where “dysfunctional” is the norm, what can be done to stop the childish wrangling that goes on during this alleged festival season? I am not even going to say that it only hurts and affects the children. It affects all involved.
Here is the question: For those who must deal with “broken” situations during the holidays, what are you doing to ease the stress instead of causing it?
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I will be attending the "Blue Christmas" services we will be having at my church that is specially designed for folks who are hurting or broken at this time of year, for whatever reason. I went last year and it really helped.
ReplyDeleteAs a single mother there is so little to do to ease the stress of the holiday that deals with the "brokeness". The only thing I try to do is relize he loves his dad as much as me. Though I know I would rather keep him with me, I give in and I cave to the times his other side of his family wants him. I will never be able to ease the stress of the holidays for me but any thing to ease his stress of the holidays I will do even if that means giving him up on the days I would rather have him.
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